Monday, August 4, 2008

Extreme Teenage Rebellion

When I was a child and I didn't get what I wanted, I usually pouted and cried...sometimes I threw things. But apparently, in the computer age, extortion and murder-for-hire are much more appropriate.

A kid in China tried to extort $1,400 from his parents by "kidnapping" himself and demanding a ransom after they refused to buy him a Nintendo Wii. According to China Daily, the kid apparently hired two men to kidnap him, and was arrested after he withdrew his own $1,400 ransom from an ATM. What a criminal mastermind! And I thought Chinese kids were supposed to be smart??

Now, if you thought this Chinese kid was a genius, you won't believe the home-grown crime lord we have here in the US of A. After being grounded from playing his PlayStation 3 or watching TV for stealing and skipping school, a 16-year-old Maryland native hired a hitman to kill his parents. He stole $45 from his sister (which is clearly the going rate for having people killed) and after getting into a heated argument, he was kicked out of his house, but not before he threatened to have his family killed. Luckily, his mother tipped off the police, who sent out an undercover agent to pose as a hitman. The kid offered the agent his father's truck as payment (just to round out the $45) and was quoted as saying, "Two bullets is all it takes." He is now in custody and awaiting trial. Two bullets is all it takes? When did young America turn into a bad James Bond sequel??

Last I checked (which was this morning), actual recreation, natural daylight, and avoiding jail time were pretty important for kids. But it seems without video games, Generation Felony has nothing to live for. What's next? Secret Government espionage to recover an X Box? Maybe a little pre-pubescent racketeering, throw in some fraud, perhaps a count of grand larceny?

Oh well, there's no need to worry everyone, I'm sure that President Bush will save us...*rolls eyes*

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