Why you should have a small dog..

I stumbled across this little gem of genius as I was walking my dog today...

What I'm wondering here is how they determine whether your dog's poop is worth a $25 fine, a $200 fine, or somewhere in between. Is it the size of the poop, the amount of poop, or the messiness of the poop? In my opinion, I'd say diarrhea is definitely a $200 fine, especially if it comes out of a German Shepard. I just feel sorry for the jackass cop who has to respond to a call about unclaimed dog sh*t. I don't know if he weighs it, measures it, or just writes out a citation based on his level of embarrassment. You have to be the station f*ck-all if they send you out to investigate poop. I'd freaking turn in my badge.

I would love to meet anyone who has actually received a ticket for dog crap. I've gotten in trouble for much more ridiculous things, but if an officer seriously wrote me up, I would throw the poop at his windshield.

Also, I never really understood what it means to "curb your dog." Is that like parallel parking? Do I have to back my dog in? Should I put change in the meter?

And how the hell does dog poop contaminate drinking water? Unless my dog is sh*tting in the Brita while I'm asleep, I'm pretty sure my water is just fine. Where do these people get off? Fish piss in the ocean 24 hours a day, alligators and frogs live in lakes, raccoons wash their asses in streams, but somehow my chihuahua's poop in the grass is what makes it into the tap water??

Good grief.

Being Fat doesn't pay...but Fat People DO!

Sweet Home Alabama! Home of great barbeque, fried chicken, sweet tea, and obesity. You have to respect a state where deep frying is pretty much the only method of cooking, gravy is considered a beverage, and pecan pie is used as a digestive aid. Joking aside, Alabama has become the second most obese state in the country (behind Mississipi, the reigning gold medalist for the past 3 years), and it's time to crack down. Well, slim down. Well, slim down on crack...and I'm not talking narcotics. With just over 30% of it's population considered obese, state officials are finally recognizing and addressing the condition as a serious statewide health problem.



Legislation has been passed declaring that beginning in January 2010, obese state workers will be required to pay $25 a month for health insurance(which is normally provided at no cost). This will ensure that any obese employee who has not made an effort to lose weight by the January deadline, will be throwing away $300 a year, and I'm sure 'fat fees' are not tax deductible.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'd rather buy a new iphone than spend my hard earned money on being decidedly unhealthy, something that carries far more risks than squeezing a few more hundred dollars out of your piggy bank.


Of course a lot of Alabama residents are in uproar (I'll let you guess which ones), but the state already requires $24 a month from smokers, and obesity is equally as much of a health risk. I'm impressed that the government is finally taking a proactive stance to help diminish this unnecessary disease which is also becoming prevalent in children at a young age.


Kudos Alabama! But seriously, this doesn't mean you need to get rid of the barbeque...