Chemistry 101.

If you ever go to see a (licensed) therapist or psychologist, they will probably give you a chemical use survey. This is not referring to whether you treat your lawn for fire ants, own a bunsen burner, highlight your hair, or try to minimize your pores.

Instead, it will ask if, when, and how often you use/consume the following:

Tobacco
Alcohol
Marijuana
Cocaine/crack
Inhalants
LSD
Prescribed Pills
Caffeine

Whoa, nothing gets by you! Yes, that says caffeine. It is considered a chemical, and an addictive one at that. I'll say one thing, if I ever become a crackhead and find myself in rehab sitting next to a coffee junkie, I'll punch him square in the face.





I've had 5 shots of espresso today and I'm still tired. I guess I have a chemical dependency. I'm addicted to lattes and cappucinos. Lock me away.

Are these people kidding?

No, really...are they kidding?