Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Why you should have a small dog..

I stumbled across this little gem of genius as I was walking my dog today...

What I'm wondering here is how they determine whether your dog's poop is worth a $25 fine, a $200 fine, or somewhere in between. Is it the size of the poop, the amount of poop, or the messiness of the poop? In my opinion, I'd say diarrhea is definitely a $200 fine, especially if it comes out of a German Shepard. I just feel sorry for the jackass cop who has to respond to a call about unclaimed dog sh*t. I don't know if he weighs it, measures it, or just writes out a citation based on his level of embarrassment. You have to be the station f*ck-all if they send you out to investigate poop. I'd freaking turn in my badge.

I would love to meet anyone who has actually received a ticket for dog crap. I've gotten in trouble for much more ridiculous things, but if an officer seriously wrote me up, I would throw the poop at his windshield.

Also, I never really understood what it means to "curb your dog." Is that like parallel parking? Do I have to back my dog in? Should I put change in the meter?

And how the hell does dog poop contaminate drinking water? Unless my dog is sh*tting in the Brita while I'm asleep, I'm pretty sure my water is just fine. Where do these people get off? Fish piss in the ocean 24 hours a day, alligators and frogs live in lakes, raccoons wash their asses in streams, but somehow my chihuahua's poop in the grass is what makes it into the tap water??

Good grief.

No comments: